So life is what you make of it. Do you know that if there is a number of crabs in a bucket and one attempts to climb out, the others will pull them back in? Dog eat dog, every man for himself, it's all a negative hole, almost training us to isolate ourselves to 'win'.

I've posted before about seeing life as a competition, so I won't fall down that route again... Instead today is about your support networks. Friends, family, work collegues, they all count. So surrounding yourself with people that bring you up is key.

I am so grateful for the people I have in my life. Some I see on a daily basis, some I see a bit less, and some dip in and out of contact, but when we meet up it's like no time has passed. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have these people around me- I know that when I have a crap day I can vent to a number of people and it's all okay, then they know they can do the same :)

Bascially, I'm rambling on, but I think we have a tendency to shut ourselves off sometimes (guilty!) and especally around the holidays, if you look, you'll see the amount of positive people you do actually have around you :)

Surround yourself with positivity and that'll be reflected in your life- how can it not? Smiles are contagious after all....

Okay, so I've been doing some thinking... Shock- I'm what they call a 'thinker'.

I think about everything, and anything, always, constantly, forever thinking. Of everything I need to do tomorrow, of what I'm going to eat later, of what's on my to do list that I haven't done, on why I haven't written a to do list... and so on and so forth. I over think. And that is where recently I've been focussing my thinking :)

So now I breathe, and remember I USED to be an over thinker- I'm a changed lady :)

I realised the other day that as people we can never just be... I certainly could'nt- I felt like if I wasn't planning ahead, or thinking about things, they'd just creep up on me and I'd have 100 unsolved 'problems'.

Then I looked at the mindset of a child. They just love everything there is to see- new places to go, new experiences, and they don't at this point have any idea about the future, or the fact there's a million tasks to do before they can rest and be happy, unlike me.... They just are.... They just 'be'.

So that's my dramatic, life altering epiphany for you today- I've taken a step back, and sometimes I just sit now and appreciate where I am, the moment I'm in.... I just 'be'- nothing to do, nothing to achieve... and although I'm still learning, I'm a much happier thinker, and have started to enjoy the little things :)

Okay so this is the second time writing this post- SUCH an old laptop, it decides when it wants to switch off and apprently not autosave!! (Technology is great until it doesn't work!)

Anyway, I've been nominated for the Liebster award!! How cool is that??

It's basically a badge of honour among bloggers- to me it's an acknowledgment that someone reads what I have to say and enjoys it- So humbling!!!!

So thank you to the lovely Hannah Earnshaw for nominating me- You can check out her blog here. She covers anything and everything interesting and always in such a pretty way!

So back to the rules:

1. Add the logo to your blog either as an image or as a widget
2. You should write 11 random facts about yourself
3. You must answer the questions given to you by your nominator
4. Then set your own questions for your nominees
5. choose 5 nominees
6. Once you have nominated you should then notify them.

So, here goes!!!...

My 11 random facts

1. I initially wanted to be a dancer when I was younger, and then moved onto singing for 2 weeks, and then finally fell to acting

2. My favourite place to be is in a forest

3.  I'm not actually 100% sure what my eye colour is- I'm convinced it changes... despite science telling me that's impossible

4. I could eat almond butter all day everyday... I kind of do

5. I'm a massive geek and proud!!!

6. I wear my reading glasses when I'm tired just as a comfort thing

7. I could not live without my tangle teezer... I once got asked if I was trying to get dreadlocks from how matted my hair was!! :S

8. I don't like wearing boots and socks- sandals all the way!

9. I once put a garden fork into my foot whilst helping my dad with the gardening (It was punishment for rocking the white socks and sparkly sandals I'm sure!)

10. The smell of freshly cut grass, christmas trees and cake <3

11. I want at least 3 dogs one day- big dogs... big big dogs

Okay so now to my Q & A from Hannah:

1. What literary or film character do you love but really shouldn’t?

   Slightly biased with this question- I love all the baddies- I think they're so much fun to play (from an acting perspective) so it's hard to pick just one... Bane from 'The dark knight rises' is in my top 5- just the way he asserts his position of power without ever raising his voice.
   

2. What was the last film that made you cry?

    I'm such a crier with films- it'd be easier to ask the last film I didn't cry at! I watched 'Beaches' last night... may have shed a tear or two :)

3. What would be your utopia?

   I'd happily live near a lake up in the mountains with surrounding trees... as long as there was coffee and chocolate!

4. What era would you most like to live in?

    I love the 20's- the flapper dresses, the dancing, the fun!

5. Who is the most famous person you’ve met?

   I once met David Walliams in a lift on my way to a voiceover job, who was on his way to film for comic relief- such a gent he held the door for me :)
    

6. What kick starts your day?

   I have a list of moments in my life that I'm thankful for which I add to constantly. I start my day by just reading a couple- puts me into a position of feeling grateful and flips my mindset :D
   And coffee...
    

7. What is your favourite feel good song?

   This changes daily! Today it was 'Lovers on the Sun' by David Guetta
    

8. Coffee or tea?

   I've mentioned coffee twice already- tea barely gets a look in... unless it's green!
   

    

9. What is your guilty pleasure?

   Dates and almond butter- the most amazing combination!!
    

10. What is your favourite word?

    Squish- It's just so much fun to say!
     

11. What would be your ideal superpower?

    Got to be flying!
    
    

    Nominations

    Okay! So now to pass the baton! My 5 nominations:
    
    1. The Purple Muse
    2. Health Fitness Boss
    3. Lost In Knit
    4. Cerys
    5. Miss Sunshine and Sparkle
    
    

    My questions :)

    1. What's your earliest memory?
    2. Favourite food?
    3. How did you meet your longest friend?
    4. If you could be anyone for a day- who would you be?
    5. What's your ideal day?
    6. Savoury or sweet?
    7. Who's your biggest inspiration?
    8. Favourite film?
    9. What's your best blogging tip?
    10. If you could tell your 10 year old self something- what would it be?
    11. Favourite season?
    
    
    Happy blogging ladies! <3

So already, only a matter of weeks back from my incredible red carpet walk in LA, I've found myself falling back into a slump. Surviving, not living and letting life just tick over and go on. NO MORE! :)

It got till today, a normal day, an actual day off and I'm laying there picking apart how tired I am and hungry and bla bla bla. Cue lightbulb. I've felt like this before, I've done this to myself before, and I'm not conciously going to do it again.

A while ago I found an amazing book 'Creating a bug free mind'. No plugging here for it, or forcing it upon you, but this book has literally dragged me out of this slump before, so I picked it up again. Rereading it, even just a chapter completely flipped my attitude, my mindset and so my mood!

You learn that your emotions are your choice. I have currently chosen the slump, chosen to run the 'rat race', and chosen to focus on all the parts of my life that I see as unsuccessful currently. Well no more. I've decided to once again wake myself from my 'walking sleep', living my life on automatic, and actually take back control, drive on, and create the movements towards my goals.

So, this is a letter to me- published nice and publicly so I have no excuse to do it again :)

After mentally flipping myself back onto realising how much I've achieved and how much I have to grateful for in my life I'm now full of energy, raring to go, smiling, and relaxed... after one afternoon. People may call it 'placebo' or short term or forced, but in myself I know that this time I'm sorted. I know where I'm mentally meant to be and between this book and my own drive I know I'll keep it there just to enjoy these moments, the lulls, to live and not just to survive, and to not waste days waiting.

A friend once said to me it's sad that all we ever really have is time, and we're constantly losing it.

If that doesn't give us a kick up the butt, I don't know what will.... :)

If you fancy a look the link to the first 10 chapters heres the link to download them for free
It's helped me so much- who knows who else it could help :)

Whoa... Up on cloud nine right now and not dropping anytime soon!

Last night was my first red carpet premiere for my first feature film and that still hasn't fully sank in! How crazy is that?!

Between the interviews, the photos, the autographs and film- it was an incredible night (You can watch my vlog of it all here). But the thing that struck me is peoples' repeated kindness. All night people were approaching us, talking of how we inspired them, how they enjoyed the performances and asking for photos. I had to stop myself looking behind to see if they were talking to someone else.

It's crazy to think that a week ago I was at home, now I'm sat in LA, having people tell me I inspire them and that really puts things into perspective for me. Being British, I think we're very quick to sell ourselves short, underplay our talents in a bid to not disappoint. This is the first time in this whole experience where I've sat there and thought 'Yeah, well done me'- not in an arrogant way, just an acknowledgment of this experience, and reaching this point.

In fact, I think I'm going to treat myself to a dress I've had my eye on as a little present to myself to act as a reminder that it is possible, and we can make things happen.

There's a common belief in the acting world that doors are shut, it's hard to get into and it's dog eat dog. Some people believe that's life. From the kindness I experienced from people last night, I don't believe that's true, and I personally will take away from this experience that a moment of your time for someone else is nothing, but can mean a lot to them- It's all relative- we can all help each other out and if you help others, they'll be keener to help you :)

A friend once told me I have a green hippy brain- absolutely loved that but what I'm trying to say (in a poor round about way) is spread the love! Who's to say that your neighbour who needs a hand moving stuff doesn't know someone who can help you further your career? Apparently it's like 6 degrees of separation between you and anyone in the world- so you know someone who knows someone x6 who knows Brad Pitt. It's a small world- take advantage of that :D

Okay so after bombarding you all with vlogs & blogs galore (I will not fall behind again, honest!!) I've taken a reflective, 'breathe' approach to todays blog.

LA is so superficial. I'm not judging, I'm not disliking it, it's merely an observation. If you've managed to avoid my vlogs you won't know that I went to 'Melrose Avenue' today and had a little look around some shops and tried on some clothes (come on, show me a girl who wouldn't?). Suddenly, getting caught up in the LA lifestyle, I'm in a $600 dress that I'd probably never wear through fear of ruining it, justifying me buying it. Whoaaaaaa, slow down.

I realised just how easy it is to jump on the bandwagon here, pick up designer labels, and feel a need to be a part of it all. Don't get me wrong it was a gorgeous dress, and I really liked it, but knowing me I'd never wear it as I'd be pulling at it constantly, looking awkward and self concious. It just wasn't me.

So this post is short and sweet, be true to you- I'm happy strolling into designer shops in my Topshop maxi dress with my hair all scruffy with my primark sandals on because that's me. That's when I'm at my happiest, without the pressure to always look coordinated (Hats off to those who can do this effortlessly & always look incredible- know so many of these people and it's just not a talent I posess).

One of my favourite quotes is 'I'm unique... just like everyone else'. Just remember you can't please all of the people all of the time, and sometimes not even some of the people some of the time, just do your thing & be you :)

Okay so LA is awesome, and crazy hot! Shops are literally keeping their doors closed to keep the heat out & the air con in- really makes me laugh because we're the complete opposite in England- slightest bit of sun and we're all out trying to soak it up.

Even in just the day I've been here exploring I've found so many differences between England and LA, but the biggest one I've noticed? Man, they love to talk here.

At home, on the tube or even just walking around we avoid eye contact, close off our body language, and live alongside each other without acknowledging one another. A friend of mine laughed at me recently because I told him I smile at people on the tube- he said 'you are that one crazy person on the train'... I'm only smiling!!! It's not like I'm violating someone's personal space, or asking insanely personal questions- I'm merely acknowledging that we made eye contact- and the majority seem to get really bothered by it! Most of the time people just stare back at me, or look away as quickly as humanly possible whilst giving me odd sidewards glances to check if I'm still looking at them (The fact I know that suggests that I am.... maybe I am a bit strange?), but sometimes, rarely, I get a smile back. That is hard work guys- all of that emotional 'what if they think I'm weird' for the sake of a smile- brightening up someone's day.

Whereas here in LA, if you stand still for a couple of seconds, people are asking if you're okay, asking where you're from because of your accent, eager to know more about England. A man in a queue started talking to us about Stonehenge, asking us what it was like and actually took a genuine interest. It's so lovely! See I'm personally a talker, once I start on something it's just a constant trail of thought falling out of my head in some conversational way and I feel like I'm now experiencing what it's like when you first meet me!

Why have we got to the point that it's odd to start a conversation with a stranger? Why is there something that stops us from just saying 'Hi' and makes us walk along with our heads down, ignoring passers by? I'm not saying on your commute from London make friends with everyone, but maybe when you catch someones' eye on the tube give them a smile- happiness is contagious, what better gift could you give someone?

Okay so I'm in LA- Yay! (incase you couldn't tell from my countless posts etc!)

So after the 10+ hour flight delayed by 2 hours (not complaining at all- these things happen), and being up for 22+ hours, I had somewhat of an epiphany laying in bed, wide awake, hungry and jetlagged at 3am local time (11am UK).

On the full flight yesterday, after landing in LAX everyone was doing that awkward stand up half crouched, half pushing thing before the plane doors even opened. I really don't get that- I'm the sitting down straggler last off the plane at the back- but that's just me :) Anyway, I over heard 2 people standing next to me (I know, nosy right?) talking about how they both act, one of them lives here, and one has just come over to jump into any audition and just give it a real shot.

Now it is so human nature to see life as a competition, to secretly start comparing the people who have the same goals as you to yourself to see who is 'winning'. I fell into that trap. WHY?! I couldn't help but listen to them both and think 'Oh no, I'm not doing that, is that bad? Should I be selling everything I have and move to LA?' Hello irrational, tired ego.

This bugged me for the whole walk to baggage claim, and after, even on the journey back to our apartment. It was haunting me, the idea that I should just throw everything out the window and start in LA. Cue my epiphany- I'm here for my first cinematic feature film release. That hit a note with me. Not because I had one up on anyone, but because I had finally stopped to appreciate where I am, and acknowledge this experience as an achievement, and stop stressing about what I should or shouldn't be doing in a comparison to others.

My journey has taken me here for different reasons to those on a plane, and because of that I'll have a completely different experience, and that's okay! I'm learning to walk my own path, and to be proud of it for myself- So today I challenge you to think of one thing big or small that you've achieved in this past week and be proud of it for you! :)

Okay, so I'm a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason', and that when everything's right, things happen fast because it's the path you're meant to be on.

My 'lucky break' happened over a grand total of 4 days, at a time when I was least expecting it.  In that tiny amount of time I had got noticed by an LA casting company, organised a skype audition, completed it, and then got selected from the 2,300 applicants for one of the lead roles in the $50 million budget film 'David & Goliath'. Insane... I still don't think it's fully settled in... months later :)

So I promised someone I'd talk about getting the audition etc- basically I had let myself believe that my success was in the hands of 'fate' for the majority of 2013. I convinced myself that actors had all just had a series of 'lucky breaks' and that I just had to wait. What is the point in that?! Waiting- why wait? I got told at some point that no one was going to push for my dream as much as I would, and suddenly it was like a light had been switched on. My lull in roles was not due to lack of luck, but down to my lack of applications, my laid back approach to networking and my belief that if it was meant to be it'd happen. I'd somehow lost sight of the fact that it's my job to 'help it along' and needed stop focussing on 'I'll be happy when I get 'there'- to my 'destination'. I had to relearn to enjoy the journey and enjoy the now!

So I took back control. I rejoined casting websites, updated all of my profiles, my website, and began networking again. Suddenly, it was like a backlog of stuff just came through- casting after casting, which then led to filming, which has resulted in one already amazingly successful 2014 for me. It was at this point where I recieved a message on my 'Casting Call Pro', profile in reference to an application I had made. The LA casting company had offered me the opportunity to audition for a feature film set for cinematic release. I didn't have to think twice.

I then got sent my sides (lines) as ususal, and funnily enough everything just felt right. Auditioning for the Kings' daughter, I had the night before watched 'Pompeii', and for no reason at all had paid particular attention to Emily Brownings' portrayal of royalty. It all just clicked. I skyped the director who was in Morocco scouting locations and we talking about the ancient ruins where it was to be set, where we'd be staying, shooting days, and we ran the script a couple of times. I recieved postive feedback, and then told I'd hear.

Three days later I got the email of congratulations and was asked to confirm my availability for shooting.

As much as I still believe in everything happening for a reason, I learnt that I can take control and create my own luck- after all, who will push for your dream more than you?

'It can happen, it does happen, but it can't if you give up'

I'm so so fortunate to be from a family of creatives- who due to the fact they're also following their dreams are crazy supportive of me, and have never told me to 'get a real job' like so many others. They really are my rock and support foundation, and I think everyone no matter what you do in life need one of these- whether it's family or friends, just someone to pick you up when you're down. Speaking of which my mum's written a 'crazy supportive' blog post about our impending red carpet trip linked here if you'd like to see it all from a 'mother of actress' perspective.

Anyway enough gushing about how grateful I am for my family spurring me on, I'm ranting today about giving up on your dreams. Everyone assumes that because their dreams may break the norm of today's expectations that it's out of reach- why? How have we programmed ourselves to think so low of our capabilities in comparison to others? It's crazy! What's the difference between me and say Kate Winslet? Okay location for starters, training and 'lucky breaks' but that's all envirnomental stuff, right? That can all be changed- fundamentally, we're the same.

Back to the quote at the top of this post- It has to be someone, so why can't it be you? Or me? Whether it's being an artist, designer, footballer etc whatever it is, it's happened to people just like us, so it is possible!

Tying into that is my own 'lucky break'- my first feature film role which is due for cinematic release in over 1,500 cinemas in the US early 2015, but I'll reveal more about that in tomorrow's post!

In the meantime, stick with your dream, and remember it is possible for everyone and anyone- so why not you? :)

So I've never had a problem with talking-usually in any awkward situation I'm a pro at filling silences with unecessary babbling on about the weather and the like, however, this to me feels like a very one sided odd situation. Not born a blogger... clearly.

So, I'm a 21 year old actress from Milton Keynes and all of a sudden my career seems to have snowballed into one amazing whirlwind of experiences, and a family friend recently told me to stop, have a breath and write it all down because we forget so much.

So here I am, awkwardly introducing myself to what feels like an abyss, telling the computer my life story (who probably already knows it better than most), but I'm using this as a documentation for my journey into Hollywood, and if it can help others do the same (from one once struggling actress to others), I'm more than happy to continue doing so.

I always wanted the limelight but hated attention- hungry for the stage at a young age I gradually just fell into TV and film where everything clicked and I had found my calling... at 7 years old. Now people will tell you 21 is young to break into acting seriously- I get it, it is, but try telling that to a creative who's wanted something for 14 years who's treading water to keep their head in the game!

So that's my little opening- I'm openly strange, I used to introduce myself as a cliche for pursuing my dreams and I'm now recording my story from Milton Keynes to the red carpet :)

Feel free to say hi!