...what I'm doing.     

Okay.... hands up who can say this?

Now hands up who's slightly afraid to admit this?

*Cue 'Mean Girls' moment where pretty much everyone puts their hands up both times and awkwardly laughs about it*



I'm just reminding you all that it's okay!

I'm a massive perfectionist (like most of us), and always struggled with the idea of doing something 'wrong' or looking stupid because I don't know what I'm doing. As an actress I learnt pretty quickly that there's no room for that awkward 'I don't want to look stupid' dance that we all seem to do. Wanting feedback but don't want to do things 'wrong'? How can you improve if you don't show off those flaws to someone to get that feedback to change it? Madness. Reality check- no one knows what they're doing 100% of the time all the time *Slight nod to Anchorman quote there*

And if they did, imagine how boring that would be? Imagine you could do everything, ever, always... You'd lose that sense of progress, achievement, determination to get better- and reaching that goal. What would you strive for? What would be your goals? How would you find motivation to do stuff if it all came so easy to you?

Sometimes we (well I know I used to), get caught up in wanting to be at our goal, wanting to be perfect at everything, not wanting to make mistakes, and today I'm asking you why? Isn't life so much more fun when you can live and learn and laugh at your mistakes?

Makenna x

Hey! Long time no blog... Sometimes I feel like I have no epiphanys for you or wise words or ramblings... Sometimes I just write and see what I end up with... Like today... so hey!

New year! Yay! Always such a good time- new bursts of motivation, decisions being made, directions being taken- I love it! My blog post today is a little late I guess but I feel it's a lesson we could use always- Limits... why do we have them?

We grow up and suddenly hit a point where we find our confidence knocked, we struggle with self doubt and the big wide world tells us things are not 'probable' or maybe not even possible. Well screw it. The only person who can limit you is you. I think we forget what we're capable of in every sense of the meaning- we forget that our body can adapt, our mid can grow and we can push ourselves out of our comfort zones and live!

So this is another little nudge from me to you (And me to myself)- do things in 2015, push yourself- If you don't do anything new, in 5 years time your life will still be the same!

Just a reminder- you're awesome and we've got this!



Makenna x

So life is what you make of it. Do you know that if there is a number of crabs in a bucket and one attempts to climb out, the others will pull them back in? Dog eat dog, every man for himself, it's all a negative hole, almost training us to isolate ourselves to 'win'.

I've posted before about seeing life as a competition, so I won't fall down that route again... Instead today is about your support networks. Friends, family, work collegues, they all count. So surrounding yourself with people that bring you up is key.

I am so grateful for the people I have in my life. Some I see on a daily basis, some I see a bit less, and some dip in and out of contact, but when we meet up it's like no time has passed. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have these people around me- I know that when I have a crap day I can vent to a number of people and it's all okay, then they know they can do the same :)

Bascially, I'm rambling on, but I think we have a tendency to shut ourselves off sometimes (guilty!) and especally around the holidays, if you look, you'll see the amount of positive people you do actually have around you :)

Surround yourself with positivity and that'll be reflected in your life- how can it not? Smiles are contagious after all....

Okay, so I've been doing some thinking... Shock- I'm what they call a 'thinker'.

I think about everything, and anything, always, constantly, forever thinking. Of everything I need to do tomorrow, of what I'm going to eat later, of what's on my to do list that I haven't done, on why I haven't written a to do list... and so on and so forth. I over think. And that is where recently I've been focussing my thinking :)

So now I breathe, and remember I USED to be an over thinker- I'm a changed lady :)

I realised the other day that as people we can never just be... I certainly could'nt- I felt like if I wasn't planning ahead, or thinking about things, they'd just creep up on me and I'd have 100 unsolved 'problems'.

Then I looked at the mindset of a child. They just love everything there is to see- new places to go, new experiences, and they don't at this point have any idea about the future, or the fact there's a million tasks to do before they can rest and be happy, unlike me.... They just are.... They just 'be'.

So that's my dramatic, life altering epiphany for you today- I've taken a step back, and sometimes I just sit now and appreciate where I am, the moment I'm in.... I just 'be'- nothing to do, nothing to achieve... and although I'm still learning, I'm a much happier thinker, and have started to enjoy the little things :)

So already, only a matter of weeks back from my incredible red carpet walk in LA, I've found myself falling back into a slump. Surviving, not living and letting life just tick over and go on. NO MORE! :)

It got till today, a normal day, an actual day off and I'm laying there picking apart how tired I am and hungry and bla bla bla. Cue lightbulb. I've felt like this before, I've done this to myself before, and I'm not conciously going to do it again.

A while ago I found an amazing book 'Creating a bug free mind'. No plugging here for it, or forcing it upon you, but this book has literally dragged me out of this slump before, so I picked it up again. Rereading it, even just a chapter completely flipped my attitude, my mindset and so my mood!

You learn that your emotions are your choice. I have currently chosen the slump, chosen to run the 'rat race', and chosen to focus on all the parts of my life that I see as unsuccessful currently. Well no more. I've decided to once again wake myself from my 'walking sleep', living my life on automatic, and actually take back control, drive on, and create the movements towards my goals.

So, this is a letter to me- published nice and publicly so I have no excuse to do it again :)

After mentally flipping myself back onto realising how much I've achieved and how much I have to grateful for in my life I'm now full of energy, raring to go, smiling, and relaxed... after one afternoon. People may call it 'placebo' or short term or forced, but in myself I know that this time I'm sorted. I know where I'm mentally meant to be and between this book and my own drive I know I'll keep it there just to enjoy these moments, the lulls, to live and not just to survive, and to not waste days waiting.

A friend once said to me it's sad that all we ever really have is time, and we're constantly losing it.

If that doesn't give us a kick up the butt, I don't know what will.... :)

If you fancy a look the link to the first 10 chapters heres the link to download them for free
It's helped me so much- who knows who else it could help :)

Okay so I'm in LA- Yay! (incase you couldn't tell from my countless posts etc!)

So after the 10+ hour flight delayed by 2 hours (not complaining at all- these things happen), and being up for 22+ hours, I had somewhat of an epiphany laying in bed, wide awake, hungry and jetlagged at 3am local time (11am UK).

On the full flight yesterday, after landing in LAX everyone was doing that awkward stand up half crouched, half pushing thing before the plane doors even opened. I really don't get that- I'm the sitting down straggler last off the plane at the back- but that's just me :) Anyway, I over heard 2 people standing next to me (I know, nosy right?) talking about how they both act, one of them lives here, and one has just come over to jump into any audition and just give it a real shot.

Now it is so human nature to see life as a competition, to secretly start comparing the people who have the same goals as you to yourself to see who is 'winning'. I fell into that trap. WHY?! I couldn't help but listen to them both and think 'Oh no, I'm not doing that, is that bad? Should I be selling everything I have and move to LA?' Hello irrational, tired ego.

This bugged me for the whole walk to baggage claim, and after, even on the journey back to our apartment. It was haunting me, the idea that I should just throw everything out the window and start in LA. Cue my epiphany- I'm here for my first cinematic feature film release. That hit a note with me. Not because I had one up on anyone, but because I had finally stopped to appreciate where I am, and acknowledge this experience as an achievement, and stop stressing about what I should or shouldn't be doing in a comparison to others.

My journey has taken me here for different reasons to those on a plane, and because of that I'll have a completely different experience, and that's okay! I'm learning to walk my own path, and to be proud of it for myself- So today I challenge you to think of one thing big or small that you've achieved in this past week and be proud of it for you! :)

Okay, so I'm a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason', and that when everything's right, things happen fast because it's the path you're meant to be on.

My 'lucky break' happened over a grand total of 4 days, at a time when I was least expecting it.  In that tiny amount of time I had got noticed by an LA casting company, organised a skype audition, completed it, and then got selected from the 2,300 applicants for one of the lead roles in the $50 million budget film 'David & Goliath'. Insane... I still don't think it's fully settled in... months later :)

So I promised someone I'd talk about getting the audition etc- basically I had let myself believe that my success was in the hands of 'fate' for the majority of 2013. I convinced myself that actors had all just had a series of 'lucky breaks' and that I just had to wait. What is the point in that?! Waiting- why wait? I got told at some point that no one was going to push for my dream as much as I would, and suddenly it was like a light had been switched on. My lull in roles was not due to lack of luck, but down to my lack of applications, my laid back approach to networking and my belief that if it was meant to be it'd happen. I'd somehow lost sight of the fact that it's my job to 'help it along' and needed stop focussing on 'I'll be happy when I get 'there'- to my 'destination'. I had to relearn to enjoy the journey and enjoy the now!

So I took back control. I rejoined casting websites, updated all of my profiles, my website, and began networking again. Suddenly, it was like a backlog of stuff just came through- casting after casting, which then led to filming, which has resulted in one already amazingly successful 2014 for me. It was at this point where I recieved a message on my 'Casting Call Pro', profile in reference to an application I had made. The LA casting company had offered me the opportunity to audition for a feature film set for cinematic release. I didn't have to think twice.

I then got sent my sides (lines) as ususal, and funnily enough everything just felt right. Auditioning for the Kings' daughter, I had the night before watched 'Pompeii', and for no reason at all had paid particular attention to Emily Brownings' portrayal of royalty. It all just clicked. I skyped the director who was in Morocco scouting locations and we talking about the ancient ruins where it was to be set, where we'd be staying, shooting days, and we ran the script a couple of times. I recieved postive feedback, and then told I'd hear.

Three days later I got the email of congratulations and was asked to confirm my availability for shooting.

As much as I still believe in everything happening for a reason, I learnt that I can take control and create my own luck- after all, who will push for your dream more than you?

'It can happen, it does happen, but it can't if you give up'

I'm so so fortunate to be from a family of creatives- who due to the fact they're also following their dreams are crazy supportive of me, and have never told me to 'get a real job' like so many others. They really are my rock and support foundation, and I think everyone no matter what you do in life need one of these- whether it's family or friends, just someone to pick you up when you're down. Speaking of which my mum's written a 'crazy supportive' blog post about our impending red carpet trip linked here if you'd like to see it all from a 'mother of actress' perspective.

Anyway enough gushing about how grateful I am for my family spurring me on, I'm ranting today about giving up on your dreams. Everyone assumes that because their dreams may break the norm of today's expectations that it's out of reach- why? How have we programmed ourselves to think so low of our capabilities in comparison to others? It's crazy! What's the difference between me and say Kate Winslet? Okay location for starters, training and 'lucky breaks' but that's all envirnomental stuff, right? That can all be changed- fundamentally, we're the same.

Back to the quote at the top of this post- It has to be someone, so why can't it be you? Or me? Whether it's being an artist, designer, footballer etc whatever it is, it's happened to people just like us, so it is possible!

Tying into that is my own 'lucky break'- my first feature film role which is due for cinematic release in over 1,500 cinemas in the US early 2015, but I'll reveal more about that in tomorrow's post!

In the meantime, stick with your dream, and remember it is possible for everyone and anyone- so why not you? :)