My 25th Birthday- why I'm a 'failure'

04:00

So I'm 25 today- It's the first birthday number I've felt panicked by. I would like to begin this post by stating I am not giving any measurements of 'success' that you should adhere to or hold yourself to, nor judging anyone by the measurements I hold for myself- we're all individuals and our journeys reflect that :) 

I think it stems back to my A-level psychology class when we were all discussing uni options and what we were going to do. I had been pressured by the school to complete UCAS and go to uni, but at this point I had decided I wanted to throw in the towel on that and pursue acting. 'But what if you turn 25 and you're still working in the shop?'

Now this wasn't taken as a put down on retail, but for me, 25 became the benchmark age in my mind where I need to be 'successful' by to prove this particular person and the school system (who did tell me multiple times I would regret it and I needed uni as a back up plan...) wrong.

Cue turning 25. I am a failure by these accounts: 
I live at home, I don't drive, I don't have a London commuting job, I don't 'live for the weekend', I have no marriage or children plans, I don't have a huge yearly salary, I don't have any plans to purchase a property or have anything of great financial value to my name. 

It's safe to say to society, I am doing nothing with my life and it would become extremely easy to measure myself by these standards and feel inadequate. In fact, when I tell people about my job, I am asked how much I earn and then who do I know who is famous. So my worth is put on my income and my celebrity status. I have never been asked how happy I am. Ever. 

So now I give you some elements of my 'failed life' that I am incredibly proud of: 

I am an award nominated actress, I have been in films that have made US cinematic release, Netflix, DVD in several territories, I have been flown to and paid to work in Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Cameroon and Tunisia, I have trekked to Everest Base Camp, climbed Kilimanjaro, Scuba dived in Zanzibar, swam with wild dolphins in the sea, had a red carpet premiere in Fox Studios, LA, snorkelled with sharks, been part of creating and performing in incredible sell out shows, I've travelled to Croatia, Slovenia, New Zealand, Sri Lanka, Amsterdam, Kenya, Morocco, France, Tanzania, Nepal, New York, Vegas, I set up and lost a business, but learnt incredible life altering lessons for round 2, I have found a day job I LOVE- working in an indoor climbing centre, I have the BEST people in my life, I've began writing, I've star gazed in the Sahara desert, and so many more things. 



This isn't a brag post, this is to show anyone who is feeling the pressure of societies 'success standards', that we can have our own measurements. I would not change any of the above to have any of the things before that, because to me having experiences doing what I love in incredible places with the people I love is everything. That's not to say if you have a house and car and family you are wrong to me, we're just different, on different journeys and that's okay. :) 


Big Love x













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